Talent Submission Page 1

This is exciting! I’ve never written for another artist before but I’ve always wanted to be considered a writer. I definitely consider myself some kind of storyteller. The main reason I started keeping a blog was an exercise to write every day. That didn’t work out. However, now MillarWorld is looking for new talent: both writers and artists. I will be submitting to both. Here are my pages for the contest.

 

Lost Treasures

Written by Billy Penn

This is basically a five page joke about soccer. Being an All-American kind of guy, Duke McQueen thinks soccer is for pussies.

Notes to penciler/colorist:

*This is only a five page story and we have a lot of room to cover with limited real estate on the page. I’m thinking this will take about 30 panels in all.

*Middle Aged/Dad Duke McQueen book ends this tale. He’s a little older than the Young Duke we see in the original mini series and not as old as Present Day Duke McQueen. I’m thinking his Buster Crab bangs are a little shorter and his temples are graying like Mr. Fantastic.

*The royal guards will need distinct uniforms.

*The Pteradaxans should look a little more alien than the Saurons/Fing Fang Foom I sketched. We don’t want anybody to get in trouble here.

*Feel free to expand/delete/consolidate any panels as you see fit. Use these sketches as a springboard. See what works and improve things that could work better. However, DO NOT break the page turns. These tend to be important.

Feel free to email any questions or concerns (or praise) to newpenns@comcast.net

On to the story…

 Lost Treasures

Billy Penn /  and you

PAGE ONE (9 panels)_____________________

Panel 1: Duke McQueen stands at the end of his driveway. He’s wearing a robe over his pajamas, coffee in hand. The morning paper is next to his feet. Both of his boys look up into a tree, barley in frame.

1. DUKE MCQUEEN:         What’re you fellas up to this mornin’?

2. LARRY MCQUEEN:         Ralph got the new soccer ball Aunt Betsy gave me stuck in the tree!

3. DUKE MCQUEEN:         Big loss.

Panel 2: Little Larry (curly/wavy blond hair) pleads with dad McQueen while pointing at the ball high up in the tree.

1. LARRY MCQUEEN:         We’re gonna need help gettin’ it down.

Panel 3: Duke McQueen looks up smirking, about to sip coffee, reminiscing. Larry (curly/wavy blond hair) and Ralph (straighter brown hair) in the background.

1. DUKE MCQUEEN:         Heh. This reminds me of one of those times on Tantalus…

2. RALPH MCQUEEN:         Not again…

Panel 4: BIGGEST Panel! Vertical orientation! Young Duke McQueen and six royal guards/space soldiers climb a tall cliff that descends to infinity. They use laser grappling hooks/lines that come from their rifles. To get a sense of scale, pepper the back ground with small distant clouds and teeny tiny birds.

1. MCQUEEN CAPTION:         A contingent of the royal guard and myself were on a rescue mission.

2. MCQUEEN CAPTION:         The Pteradaxans had stolen the Zarnel Crystal.

3. MCQUEEN CAPTION:         They took it back to their nest at the top of Mount S’ponzlor.

Panel 5: Duke Climbs, but it isn’t easy. He still looks heroic as sweat beads form on his face and pebbles fall from his knees. The wind is constantly blowing his bangs to one side.

1. MCQUEEN CAPTION:         It was a tough climb. Their all-in-one ascender guns were supposed to make it easier.

Panel 6: Small panel. Very wide camera shot of the seven men who look like specks against the rocky surface of the cliff. The cliff is dotted with clouds. Make sure Duke is the farthest climber down. Also make sure that we see their ropes disappear into a bank of clouds overhead.

1. ROYAL GUARD 1:         I told you these ascender guns would make the climb easier.

Panel 7: Duke yells over his shoulder (towards the reader) to the guard who is off panel.

1. DUKE MCQUEEN:         I’m still gettin’ the hang of these energy-based weapons. They seem overly complicated.

Panel 8: Just a close-up shot of the guard. He’s looking down at McQueen. (towards the reader)

1. ROYAL GUARD 1:         Ha! This coming from the Earthling Test Pilot?

Panel 9: The guard waves a friendly goodbye. Duke McQueen continues his uneasy climb in the middle ground. It would be great if we could see other guards in the far background easily walking up the wall.

1. ROYAL GUARD 1:         You worry too much!

2. DUKE MCQUEEN:         It’s not the climb that worries me.

3. DUKE MCQUEEN:         It’s what’s waiting at the top that does.